Recently, I came across a post online that rattled me. The person who shared it is someone I am fond of and I was concerned by what I read. Immediately, I thought, If she goes through with this, then XYZ will happen. What is she thinking? Why does she post such personal information? What if this backfires on her? This soul-sucking, energy-draining internal dialogue went on for several minutes, and then I experienced a profound six-word revelation: “This is none of my business.”
Those six words felt so empowering. I wondered, What else is none of my business? Is there anything else living rent-free in my mind that needs an eviction notice?
Forgive me for stating the obvious but we live in an era of information overload. If we have any inkling of a chance of living clear-eyed, level-headed, and with our attention fixed on our goals, it’s crucial we learn to parse and choose what resides in our minds. It may sound callous, but we’ll have to toss out far more information than we consume. After all, just because someone posts something online for public consumption doesn’t necessarily mean it’s our business.
I’m not suggesting we become digital monks or people who ignore what’s going on in the world. I want to know what’s going on in my immediate circle of people, but I prefer to hear directly from them. I also want to be informed about domestic and foreign affairs, the U.S. government (God help me), and what’s taking place in my city, state, and country. But there’s a long list of other things that are none of my business. Here’s just a small sample:
- Who my colleague voted for in the last election is none of my business.
- Online pettiness, hideous remarks, heated disagreements, and full-blown culture wars are none of my business.
- Gossip is none of my business.
- Other people’s marriages, relationships, and personal lives are none of my business.
- Neighborly (or not-so-neighborly) disputes happening in my subdivision are none of my business.
- What my third-grade teacher ate for lunch and posted online when she vacationed at Disney is none of my business.
- Disclaimer: If you post dog photos—those are absolutely my business.
While it’s true that the digital challenges this generation faces are unprecedented in human history, the reality is that people have always needed to be intentional about how they think and live. The apostle Paul addressed this when he wrote to the Thessalonians:
“…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, emphasis mine).
There’s a risk in not taking Paul’s words seriously, and the liability is becoming so overwhelmed and distracted by things that shouldn’t concern us or are beyond our control that we unwittingly become slackers and miss our own assignments and callings.
A good example of confronting this problem successfully is found in the Old Testament book of Nehemiah. The wall in Jerusalem had been destroyed, and the city was left vulnerable. Nehemiah was called to rebuild the wall, but was confronted by enemies who attempted to prevent him from rebuilding. Simply put, they intended to thwart his mission. Time and again, they attempted to destroy his plan to rebuild, and then one day his enemies asked to meet with him.
Nehemiah responded to their invitation this way:
And I sent messengers to them, saying, “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?” (Nehemiah 6:3 ESV).
Nehemiah’s words were few but they communicated everything he needed to say: “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down.” Granted, the distractions in our lives are not always (or if ever) from enemies. When I read my friend’s post, she wasn’t attempting to distract me or trying to take time away from my workday—she wasn’t thinking of me at all. But if we allow ourselves to be distracted from our greater work, the outcome is the same—we make no progress.
The key to overcoming this dilemma is identifying what your business is and then going all in. If you’ve already established your business, when everything else knocks on your mental door, you can disregard what doesn’t align with your calling, goals, and responsibilities. Living with this degree of intentionality will bring clarity and help you meet goals you never thought possible. But be warned, like Nehemiah you’ll attract naysayers, critics, and maybe even an enemy or two. But remember, when this crowd criticizes you, the only appropriate response is: That’s none of my business.
